Saturday, June 07, 2008

1½ weeks left

Time passes way too quickly when you're trying to rest. What is ironic in all of this, is that in order to get good rest, you try to finish up as much work as possible before the designated rest time, working late or over time in order to achieve that end, such that you end up getting very tired and the designated rest time ends up being insufficient; or you just simply can't finish the work before the designated rest time and you spend a good part of your rest time thinking about the work that's waiting to be done, and you end up not actually getting enough rest. Good rest means having enough time to sit until you rot. Then you will truly feel ready for work when it's time to get back to it. But there really is never enough time for such, is there?

For the reason that there isn't enough time to just space out and rot, the mind becomes perpetually wired up and unable to truly find the space to relax, which at least for me, results in a state of absolute restlessness. This restlessness in me leads to the inability to settle down to work properly, constantly being interrupted by the sense that personal pursuits, more commonly known as hobbies, must be fulfilled. I am certain that if I had the time to rot, I would not have any hobbies at all.

Therefore, since I have not had enough time in my mind to rot, I am now plagued with the absolute desire to find the perfect cupcake recipe that will rise to perfection and not pull away from the cupcake liners. That must then be followed by the search for the equally perfect cupcake frosting that is neither too sweet nor too soft so that it will hold its shape and taste without refrigeration. This in turn fuels the dream to be able to open a cupcake bakery like the ones I saw in Australia, which will likely remain a dream because I reckon baking cupcakes will cease to fulfill the category of "hobby" should it become a job. Nevertheless, I applaud and cheer for my dear friend and ex-colleague who actually quit teaching to become a pastry chef. Truly wow-worthy.

Then, there's also some scrapbooking which I feel must absolutely be done, because knowing me, the longer the photos stay in the computer, the less likely they will be printed and put in an album, and before long, the excitement to want to scrap those memories will die out. So, yes. I also need to scrap. I need to scrap Lauren's past 6 months; I need to scrap our Sydney holiday; I need to make nice layouts to place in my cubicle in the office; I need to fill the empty wall in our hall with pictures of us. I need, I need, I NEED! to have more time.

I have 1½ weeks left. I need to get enough energy and enthusiasm gathered to start thinking about and doing work.

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